Tuesday, September 3, 2019

10. Notes - self reality / but one example / reflection


 10. - self reality - 3 September 2019

        Morning. The painter, Tom from M/I, is repainted the front door and surrounds as well beams in garage and touching up the house interior and refilling corner cracks in baseboards and crown moldings where needed. Once completed your end of first year on the house will be completed. M/I will have fulfilled their end of the contract. -- Carol is out watering some of the trees and nature area. The cats are at their leisure in the master bedroom and bath while the front door is open. The air conditioning is presently off. - Amorella

       1021 hours. It is ironic that ''The Amorella" of the Spirit World feels the need to bring the 'real world into this blog as she has the other blogs to remind me of where I am in writing. I appreciate this of course. 

       Writing these blogs and your past books and notes is not an obsession to you, it is a fulfillment of one of your life dreams which is to be a writer. The other life dream was to be a teacher, but those days are long over, old man. - mh

       1028 hours. This I understand. I have no personal complaints about my life. These days the Notes are mostly a reflection on life, though yesterday 'for a moment' it was Real Life, a glimpse at the 'Majesty' of the Soul within -- a fiery intensity of raw nerves, a metaphysical communiqué, without (not beyond) time but within myself. I had to sort out the words but the content was there without a one word. How can that be for a wordless content to exist from soul to consciousness. I literally slowed it down to drop the words in, but without words the communiqué was already there? For me, old man that I am, it is further circumstantial proof that the soul is a reality that allows a sense of spiritual humanity to be a reality in our species. 

       What appears real to you, old man, is not necessarily real to anyone else. - Amorella

       1051 hours. What else is new, Amorella?

       Sarcasm. Look it up. - mh

** **
sarcasm - noun - the use of irony to mock or convey contempt: his voice, hardened by sarcasm, could not hide his resentment

ORIGIN mid 16th century: from French sarcasme, or via late Latin from late Gr-eek sarkasmos, from Greek sarkazein ‘tear flesh’, in late Greek ‘gnash the teeth, speak bitterly’ (from sarxsark- ‘flesh’).

Selected and edited from the Oxford/American Apple software

** **

       Do you know why you are bitterly resentful? - mh

       1112 hours. Not on this particular occasion, no, especially not to Amorella. I didn't mean it personally. 

       No, you did not. - mh

       1137 hours. I don't feel I have ever 'seen' reality like most people. Partly, it is too much imagination, i.e. so many 'what if's' situations. It is one of the reasons I loved science fiction and I really enjoyed teaching my college prep junior/senior "Futures Studies/Science Fiction" quarter classes at Indian Hill High as well as my "World Mythology" quarter classes. I taught them as Honors classes. When I was four and five I was interested in faeries in particular, their setting and geography and how they ran things. I never saw any. Then later it was angels and the same questions. Then I added aliens, same questions right up through high school. I am not bitter about these matters, what I am resentful about is that very few people seem to care to have the same sense about the world as I do. I am human though. 

       For many decades I was somewhat doubtful that I was fully human. What's ironic, of course, is that with my DNA (National Geographic, Geo II) I have found I am 95 percent human DNA, 2 percent Neanderthal and 3 percent Denisovan. Just like everyone else I go back a ways. We were all something or a mix of something before we were Homo-sapiens. 

       I guess I always thought I was a mistake, that I wasn't supposed to have been here (on Earth) in the first place. Odd to still be somewhat resentful of that, but that's what I feel I am so resentful about, being here. Strange, because I enjoy living, I enjoy studying about human beings and the physical universe. I love the sciences and the humanities. I get along with people for the most part but I like being alone too. (1205)

       You were a mistake. Your parents had to rush to get married because of you. You learned this when you were about ten. You put together your birth date with your parent's marriage date. - mh

       1207 hours. Yes, I did. Then, of course, I already had heard that few thought I would survive being about two pounds upon birth. I was in an incubator for a good while. So, I caused family trouble that way too. It would have been easier on everybody if I had died early on. That's the reasonable outlook as I saw it. Today, though, I am happy I am here and that I know my family and friends. 

       Post your reflections. Amorella

       1213 hours. Amorella, I am so tired of talking about myself. I understand the sharing, but never again on Facebook. I love that almost no one reads my blog. I wouldn't read it either. 


       Hey, old man,this is blog is not about you, per se, it is about human beings of which you are but one example. - mh

       You know you are an example, don't you, young man? - Amorella

       1950 hours. Yes, ma'am.

       Post. - Amorella

       2257 hours. You give me much to reflect on, Amorella.

       Post. - Amorella


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