11. 4 September 2019
You feel much better after a mid-morning nap. Arthritic conditions persist with the oncoming of Fall-like weather, especially in knees, left hip, hands and fingers. - Amorella
1020 hours. I'd better work on the lawn before anything else. Later. -- 1104 hours. I mowed the west front and part of the side, then stopped for a break, now the engine is flooded so I have to wait to do the middle front and a bit of the east side. I mowed most of the middle front; Carol took over after I tripped a couple times but I didn't fall; just clumsy.
Carol finished up the east side and will mow later or tomorrow. She's watering the trees presently. The automatic irrigation begins tomorrow if you remember to turn it back on. You are awaiting a call from Handyman Matters to have the fan put in the sunroom and Carol wants all the windows washed for Fall. There was a time she did them herself. The bottom of the windows pop-in for outside cleaning but the tops do not. They are solarized though -- Anderson windows, but not as good as what you had put in at Mason. - Amorella
Mid-afternoon. Carol had a nap on the bed and you had a nap in the chair with Jadah stretched out on your chest and 'kneading cookies' on your right forearm before she fell asleep. You are about to go to BiBiBop for a late lunch. - Amorella
You are wondering, deep down, how or what to write about being human, like it is a study. - mh
1621 hours. The title is "Old Man on a Study". I understand what Amorella was referring to when she said that I am an example of being human. I take that as a compliment, but I don't know how I am supposed to demonstrate the fact. I don't remember ever thinking of myself as an example. I'm trying to think what put me in the position as an example to begin with.
That you will never know, young man. Ever. No one will ever know. Ever. - Amorella
1629 hours. I get a surprise almost every day. There is no irony or humor in "Ever" in this context. This probably should be unsettling but it isn't. It reminds me of my question to G-D or an Angel of G-D when I am dead. The one question I really want to know just for the satisfaction of it is "Who wrote the Shakespeare plays and sonnets?" I don't feel it was William Shakespeare of Stratford. From my personal research I still feel it was Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford, but who knows. I would like it to be Edward because he presents reasonable circumstantial evidence (to me) based on historical documentation. But, all in all, it really doesn't make any difference because we have the plays and sonnets and they are far more important than who the author is. -- My own situation is not the same of course. Ha. Come to think of it, it is nothing like the same. (1652)
Do not erase, young man. Let it be. Move on. It is of little or no importance. I was looking for your conscious reaction, and I've got it. - Amorella
1656 hours. It really would be pretty neat though to discover that it was neither man. That would be funny. One rather odd theory is that Elizabeth I had something to do with the plays, perhaps she gave the author some suggestions for the tragedies, histories and/or the comedies. Perhaps she 'co-wrote some of them. Who knows? Always interesting though.
Carol is on page 178 and ready to finish a chapter. Later, old man. - Amorella
You are home, Carol is finishing mowing the grass, mostly the west side and the back yards. - Amorella7
1742 hours. Now, I can't think of anything to write about.
You are thinking about three dead friends, Bob Pringle, David Short, and Rich Grimsley. - mh
1745 hours. I love them and miss them, truly I do, but why they come to mind at the moment, I don't know. Perhaps I'd just like to be with them.
Wouldn't you rather have them back, alive and celebrate the good times with each individually? - mh
1748 hours. No, it never entered my mind. I'd rather be with them. I have my memories of all three, of course. What I remember most is that we had honest times. Many times, it was as if our souls were meeting and we were just along for the ride. We were always honest with one another. Or, if we weren't, it was because we were playing a joke, to get a rise out of the other. Obviously, we were almost always honest with one another, depending on the setting and circumstance.
Anyone who was lying to another could say the same thing -- depending on the setting and circumstance. - mh
1756 hours. That's true, indeed. So, one's deeds, one's actions, depend on the setting and the circumstance. How does one morally weigh the setting and circumstance each time? One cannot always consciously weigh the importance of one over the other or both. One comes to a decision, and sometimes it is unconsciously resolved before the person knows this consciously. Where is the justice in this decision be it come to good or ill?
Why is justice involved at all at this point? - mh
1807 hours. The event caused by the decision is premeditated or it is not. One can still be found guilty of an error in judgment. Someone else, later, decides whether the event was premeditated, or not, or entirely circumstantial, i.e. setting. One is not allowed to decide whether one is guilty of something or not, it requires a judge and jury.
Another question popped out of your unconscious. Who judges the Dead?
1816 hours. I don't know why I would think that because supposedly G-D or an Angel of G-D does the judging at least culturally and religiously this is so. Personally, existentially, the soul, if it truly exists, then it would decide whether it is condemned to Hell or Heaven, if such places exist. The soul would have to be given time to state its case though, otherwise it wouldn't be fair or just. I assume there would be a sense of freedom and justice in the Spirit World. This is the way we human beings think. It would not be fair to be judged and put in a place that is not humane. The human heartansoulanmind would have to understand the setting and circumstance or it would make no sense at all. (1825)
Carol has come in. Time for the news. Later, young man. - Amorella
Nearing dusk. You are facing mostly west at the park beneath Alum Creek Dam. A cool breeze out of the north, very Fall-like. Carol is reading her book The House of Secrets, Chapter Forty-one. -- You are surprised at your last paragraph concern justice and unsettled at the same time. - Amorella
1928 hours. I am. I don't know why that question popped out of my mind because I am trying to stay away from the Spirit World setting, Encounters in Spirit was enough of that. Out of my realm. It would help if I had a degree in Doctor of Divinity or a Doctor of Philosophy, a doctorate in Psychology or even a Law doctorate. The main point was and is that it would not be fair to be judged after physical death and put in a place that is not humane. The spiritual heart and mind would have to have reference points to understand what setting and circumstance it was being placed and why, otherwise it would be immorally wrong.
From my subjective perspective it would be wrong to be judged by an Angel of G-D because there would be many a timid soul that would wither then and there without a chance to mount a defense for her or his actions. Or, so it would seem. However, if the soul became angry enough it would speak out come hell or high water. My own timid soul did this when I thought I was confronted by an Angel of G-D. Defense of one's self is built in, no matter who is in charge. A human being may not always know what the 'justice' is in any event but she or he well knows what an injustice is.
You've generally been an angry person your whole life, old man. Deep down you have never been timid to speak your heart and mind when the anger and a sense of injustice rise to the surface. - mh
Post when plausible. - Amorella
1948 hours. I have a need to speak my mind but the words have not formed. I am angry because Ms Havisham speaks the truth about my anger. It is true. I keep it to myself because I don't know what the anger is from, but I think it is not from this world, strangely enough. What a thing to say (to write). Where did that come from? Should the preposition be 'from' or 'of' this world? I am not about to think on it. Enough for tonight, Amorella. Please. (1954)
Old man, you have an active imagination. You do not have such an anger. - mh
You are not righteous enough to have such an anger. - Amorella
2019 hours. I am not righteous enough, that is the truth, but I have the anger anyway. I want to say you, Amorella, are the arrogant one here, but I know better; the arrogance is of my own sharp reflection. My anger is with little doubt the shadow of my own arrogance, my defiance with this world and I think with any other. I am not a pawn. No human being is a pawn on this world's board or any other world's chess board either. Were you an Angel of G-D, Amorella, I would argue the same in this life and the next. Life has its own sense of dignity and its own sense of self being. Life has a right to exist when setting and circumstance are favorable. (2036)
Later evening. You just read over the paragraph above for the first time since writing it. You made a few grammatical changes as you do from time to time, even to my lines. - Amorella
2206 hours. Legally, I am the sole writer and minor editing is part of the job.
You were thinking, 'my fingers, my rules'. - mh
2211 hours. I was, but my fingers are shared and I do not think in blue. Your rule.
We each have our rules and we each exist within them. Post. - Amorella
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