36. Notes - it's more complex than this / surely this is humor

36.   6 October 2019

       Mid-afternoon. This morning you, Carol and Linda took in the film, Downton Abbey, at the nearby Marcus at Crosswoods. You all enjoyed the show and stopped at Potbelly's for a quick lunch after. Linda is making a pie for Kim's supper tonight. Gayle just stopped in. The three sisters are in the kitchen, but to you, they are a pleasant distraction. - Amorella

       1501 hours. Carol grew up with three sisters, Mary Lou, Gayle and Linda. Carol's mom, Jean, always had something going on when they were home. Mary Lou died a few years ago but it still seems like she is with them when they get together. Gayle will be buried in California next to her late husband and daughter. Mary Lou is buried next to her parents in Otterbein Cemetery. Linda also has a stone and Carol and I share a stone in the same area. When Carol's parents were buried Linda dropped in a deck of cards. I suppose we'll all be playing cards together with other friends and relatives in the same cemetery. That's the fun outlook. I like the concept but I don't do much card playing. 

       You just realized that once again, you were going on with a story and that this blog is supposed to be an informal study on human beings from the root of their humanity from me, Ms Havisham, your soul's perspective. - mh

       1517 hours. Should I erase this and let you begin?       

       No, old man. Just let her move on with it. - Amorella

       Consciousness in a spiritual sense is not as consciousness in the sense of one who is living. Spiritual unconsciousness is the one root, so to speak. Numbers are not involved. Those who exist with a human consciousness are more aware of this unconsciousness through an unknowable loneliness and longing than anything else. All living things have a sense of this - 'I am here, where is everyone else?' You can observe this in your pets, particularly cats. Dogs too, but they are more demonstrative. A bacteria? More than one is better, not for defense of the individual (are you listening) but for the defense of the group. Grass? Surely this is observable. On a level of physics, one might contemplate gravity, but don't let that fool you. The spiritual sense is deeper than gravity. I like to call it the Spirit of Grace. You can call it whatever you like, or, like Amorella says, you can deny it. Your humanity, you see, reaches deeper than you do but it explodes, so to speak. through kindness and consideration. - mh

       1542 hours. This is all well and nice, Ms Havisham but you don't live in the real world. You don't live at all. You are being all romance and ideal, but people know better. Real people have to eat and share, mostly to survive, it has nothing to do with your common denominator of kindness. If you don't stand up and fight for your individual rights someone will be right there to do you in. Granted, a soul, an existence, might well see reality like this, at least for themselves, but surely, they realize, they know, that the individual heartanmind they carry cannot survive in an idealistic world. No matter what sense of humanity a person has. The individual has to survive first, if not, there isn't a group, a swarm of humanity, if you will. Ms Havisham, are you listening?

       Post. - Amorella

       1552 hours. This is ridiculous Amorella. I don't mind learning something. I enjoy learning, but this is ramped up idealism. I can't afford idealism. 

       It is going to cost you either way, old man. Nothing's free. - Amorella

       1554 hours. Now, there, that's something I can understand. Now you can 'post'. 

       I 'posted' several lines ago. - Amorella

       1557 hours. Don't leave.

       I'm still here, old man. Where are you going? - Amorella

       2056 hours. Your last line still sticks. You're here in my head Amorella, yet you say I'm going somewhere when I'm here in my head also; plus, it's my head, my brain. I don't 'feel' schizophrenic. I know where and who I am. 

       You all were at Kim and Paul's for Sunday supper. I was there too, and also Ms Havisham was there, but we are not in your head. You have accepted me, the Amorella, as a friendly spirit for decades, you with your detached logical outlook and mental frame. You have more trouble accepting Ms Havisham as your personified soul or even as a spirit. Where I come from souls are spirits by the way, though spirits don't classify and name things as human beings do. From your perspective we are classified as spirits because we exist but are not biochemical or other such forms. It is strange that human beings can accept thoughts as real when, in their own order, they are a sort of fake spirit, a human conjured thought spirit, if you will. Do you see where I am going with this? Of course not. Your imagination takes over. A spirit though, can outdo a thought. The human spirit shows this by example. Any human being can show this by example, and many do. - Amorella

       2118 hours. Curious, I just checked your reading level stats in the above paragraph, Amorella. [177 words in 1 paragraph - 13 sentences. Flesch Reading Ease: 76.6; Flesch Grade Level: 6th grade; passive sentences, 0.] 

       2128 hours. Strange it is that the Flesch gives this a sixth-grade reading level while I find it difficult to master, and I am doing the typing. This is just plain weird. 

       Look, old man. You assume you are 'fake' because of your imagination. Your soul is greater than your imagination. Spirits are greater than your imagination. You are a spirit too, a human spirit. This is your level when you write this blog. Do you understand what I am saying? You take on the persona, so to speak, of your human spirit. How else would this work? It is poetry, it is you as poetry. - mh

       2137 hours. That's crazy. I am a living breathing person. How can I be a personification of myself?

       You can because you are a human spirit inside a human being and you are no different than any other human being except you have accepted such a thing as possible, you have thought such a thing possible. - Amorella

       2140 hours. But no, I have not. Not consciously. 

       You have unconsciously thought it possible and you found a way to make it so. Why? You want to learn another way to see things, another way to work your way out of this world you live in. - Amorella

       2144 hours. I need to stop and think, to reread and think. It is imagination. I am not this clever. I'm not that intelligent. In fact, all in all, I'd say I'm pretty slow on a lot of things. If I didn't love to read and write I would be illiterate. I don't know how I would function if I could not read or write; that is, I don't know how I would survive physically if I could not read and write. 

       Not much imagination in the last paragraph, old man. That is pretty much who you are. Post. - Amorella

       2150 hours. This seems too silly to share. Even in imagination it is too silly. Foolish, even. 

       That may be, but you are a human being. Post. - Amorella